My town blows, theres nobody my age and if there is I have no idea where they are. I have no friends to help since they all went away to college. I commute so I cant meet anyone in school. The jobs I've had were with high school kids. I'd like to say i can talk to people and i can if Im comfortable w them but I don't have any idea about meeting people and forming friendships. If someone says something to me first ill respond but theres like a 45% chance I'll fumble over my words or at least think to myself about how i must have so i don't continue conversing for long. Yeah, self-confidence is a problem and insecurity but really i have no reason to feel i deserve either of those in my current situation: i have no money, no girl, no friends, debt, a room in my parents house i almost never leave, and no fun situations for others to be a part of.Cant get a date or friends, I need advice.?
Ok, so you're at an age where money starts to matter jsut a bit.
When you're younger, money doesn't matter as much. Everyone knows that everyone else is broke.
Even though the general concensus is that people in their twenties are fairly broke, they still should have money. It's sort of like a double standard.
People expect you to have a job as you are contiuing school, etc. So people expect a 20 year old to have money.
You have debt. Sure. The majority of those in their twenties have debt. You can't use that as an excuse. If you have a part-time job, you need to manage your money better, or find a better paying job. I mean, you did mention that you're going to college and you're smart.
You sound like you don't want to put in the effort.
And the confidence thing is a major issue. A lot of girls get very turned off by guys who just don't have confidence.
Girls in their late teens and early twenties also are in the same shoes as you. But they want the guy to be confident. Almost like they're relying on the guy for reassurance.
it's a subconcious thing I think. And not all girls think like this. But for whatever reason, many girls love confidence in a guy.
Even if you don't have much, you should fake it and truly put in an effort.
I think if you put in more effort, you will see changes.Cant get a date or friends, I need advice.?
get a new job, start going to the gym (Guys don't wanna be thin they wanna be fit or muscular, chicks wanna be thin)
move out of your lame town,
I cant move, why? because all my friends are here, you have nothing holding you back, maybe join the military, maybe they'll send you somewhere better.
the biggest setback you face is your self confidence. The whole deal of being broke, without a girl, living at home is what college is all about. It Happens to be what many college peeps go through. Don't let it bring you down. What can help is if you think of those things as temporary setbacks, not problems or disasters. People, especially girls love to see confidence. If you worry about fumbling your words, it will mostlikely happen. Get to class early and talk to a random group of people. Seek out those who seem to pay more attention to you. Keep and eye out for campus events, and if there is something that catches your eye, invite a group to join you. If you understand the classwork, keep and eye out for those who don't. Offer to help. If theres something you have trouble with, seek out a study group.
The more you show yourself, your smile around people, and your confidence regardless of personal hardships, you should find friends and potential dates very quickly. I wish you luck! Yahoo messenger -SeanieD2003
Women practice dismissal, fear, and preoccupation. Men need an opening line, small talk, and to close with getting a telephone number or a date. The number one dating advice for women is ';play hard to get';.
Obese blobs, (that are 50% of the population), have immature hysteria that causes delirium in good looking women. The environments in this society are .1% good looking women.
There are 21 organizations spying on the population with plain clothes agents. No one has ever seen the start of a relationship.
Step one it's easier to make friends if you leave your room.
Step two don't think about you so much.
Step three try putting other people at ease most folks are nervous in a new social situation.
Step four if you fumble your words laugh at yourself say something like I get fumble tongued around new people... nine out of ten folks will say something like... me too.
I used to feel very much the same. When I was in my early twenties, I heard this saying that helped change me around.
'; I went looking to find a friend, but could not find one there,
I went looking to be a friend, and friends were everywhere.';
It's simple, but let it sink in. It's all about how you look at others, if you go looking to fill other's needs rather than seeking to fulfill your own, good things happen.
Also, start by building yourself first. Do things and learn things that give you a concrete sense of purpose. Do you do any volunteer work? Is there a cause that inspires you? Get involved. If you start doing things that give you a real sense of purpose, you will start believing in yourself and others will follow suit!
Easy go to clubs and get one for you.but language matter,take care man!! haaaaaaaaaaaaa.......
Greg, i suggest you go on beauty %26amp; the geek %26amp; see how that works out for ya. GOOD LUCK
Hi, you sound exactly like I was before I got married ! I used to go for long walks. I joined a tennis club, that helped, then my cousin became a nurse-in-training; she brought her friends to my place to study ! To cut a long story short, I married one of her friends. Do you live near a hospital or sports club? Best of luck !
Just be yourself. It sounds like you are too worried. You say that you go to college. Why not ask a few people in your classes to get together and study. You can also hang around the campus and watch were people go.
what town do you live in that it blows? i prolly live there too.... ill be a friend...its always good to have another friend
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